Tomorrow will be the end.

Tomorrow is October 26th, 2010. This day was supposed to be one of the best I ever lived. It was going to be the one year anniversary of myself and Skyelar being together, but that is not the case now. Tomorrow will hurt, no matter how long ago we ended. He was the first guy I ever truly loved and the first guy I ever let myself fall into such a deep love with. No matter what I or anyone else says,I know I loved him and I know I was in love with him. He held with him a piece of me only he could have and still he has it. It's the piece of me I was going to give to "the one". I regret giving him it in many ways but in others,I don't. I know no matter what happens I will always love him,not the way I did but in a way that will always be special. He held my heart first and he still has a place in my heart now. We're hateful towards each other and I say such terrible things about him,but no matter how bad it seems only you readers will know the truth. I'm in another relationship and I'm very happy about this,it's my first step towards closure,along with this. I'm going to make this my last mention of Skyelar until the day we final move on and can be at least friends. Right now,it would give me joy to just see him and smile,knowing I have a friend in him again. But I know that may be a long time before that happens,I still have healing to do and he does too,whether he admits it or not. We had a rough ending and it cut me deep,and I know it affected him just as badly. But I want him to know,whether it be now or later on,I love him still,not as I did,but in a way only I would know. And I wish to still be friends,and I am willing to wait for this to happen.