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Have you ever sat there looking at your ex's profile,read about this girl/boy they love so much and then go to said girl/boy's profile and read what they wrote about your ex? I know I have,I still do. And the thoughts that run through my head everytime are...I loved him first,I had him first. And then...for when you can honestly say...I still have him...it just tears my heart out. I feel like everytime he looks at me,smiles at me,talks to me...my heart breaks a little bit more. It just kills me to know the one I love and the one I cherish still loves me,but doesn't want me now. I just hate how much I love him. I hate how much I care for him,I hate how much he means to me. And I hate the fact that he loves me too. I just want to leave and never look back. Go off into the sun and never be seen again. One day I will do just that. One day I will leave him behind in this town,and maybe one day I will come back...to just see how he is. But I won't come back for him. I'll come back to see old friends,visit old places and see how everyone is. But until that day...I guess I'll just have to hurt,to cry,to love and to be loved.

-Elizabeth

So lock and load...

Why does he do this to me? I mean god damn,seriously? Why does he put me through such hell and say he cares about me? Why does he say I'm THE girl and I'm the one he wants for the rest of his life...but then say we should date around until we're mature? I understand what he's getting at,but dating around for him is easy. He can stand seeing me being man handled by guys,but I cannot stand seeing him all over another girl. And it's so damned frustrating. I love him more than anything in this world...but he can't fathom how irritating it is to say nah I love this guy and I wanna be with him,while he does the same with another girl. I can't do it much longer before I say fuck it and stop waiting. >:|

-Elizabeth

Of all the damn things.

I had to let myself...yet again fall back into an old habit. I want to move on,I want to get over him,I want myself back. But I can't have that...as long as we stay friends. I just wish...I'd never fell in love with him like I did. =/

-Elizabeth

My break

Starting last night I told everyone for a week starting to day,I'm on break. I'm distancing myself from people who ignore me so I can see who will crack under pressure and talk to ME first for once,just so they can feel like I do everyday when I think I'm annoying them. I'm just sick of this and I need a release and I am damned well determined to get it. My rules are not starting a conversation with anyone,including my own parents. I refuse to be an idiot,and this week will end my long streak of depression,bipolar moods and making myself sick. :|

-ZeliTheRipper<33